Phillip and the Aliens

                       Part I : What Not to Say to an Alien

    Previously I had mentioned that I felt that the moon was the best place to get away from something dangerous. I found that this is not true,  and that Religious nuts were on the case. Phillip of http://www.christian­spacemission.org/ feels that it is necessary to spread the word to the stars and writes no less than a 10 page essay to aliens about Jesus, Love, and  how SETI is going to take over the world.

    Phillip cites Seth Shostak, a SETI Institute Scientist, who said that "we're going to hear from extraterrestrials by the year 2020 or 2025." Apparently the aliens were kind enough to RSVP, and not only that, gave a 5 year window in which they would arrive, so we could set up a reception. If they're late, the *hors d'oeuvres are mine.

     *I wasn't entirely sure how to spell hors d'oeuvres, so I searched how I thought it was spelled (orderves) I got "ordure's", which means "dung". After some deliberation I figured that since the word was French, "ordure's" was probably right. I was later corrected.

    Then, Phillip goes on to write a love letter to aliens who may or may not exist. In the 3 or more pages he spends gushing about love he also explains what love is, how much Jesus and God love them, and that he, and I'm not making this up... loves them too.

Actual Wonderful Honest-to-God Phillip Quote:

"...I love you."    - Phillip to the aliens

  Thanks Phil, now the first message that we're going to get back from aliens is going to be:

"Humans of Earth,

    Thank you for the kind letter about your God and bedtime stories. Zernnorax especially liked the one about the talking snake. We appreciate that you love us, but we still just want to be friends.

             Friends Forever,

             Bloodsucking Aliens from Quadrant 9

  PS - Please tell Phillip to stop calling"

Rock Your Way to Part II >>