The
End of the WorldThe
End of the World
Introduction
As everyone knows now, the world is coming to an end soon. If we take a look at
the world, it is sure that the end is upon us, the signs showing everywhere in
the form of famine, poverty, reality TV, and the reemergence of bellbottoms in fashion.
All of these
clearly point out that Evil is in control, and that we are all going to die a
horribly fiery death, with the rise of the antichrist, and some guys on horses. But
the question remains, how will this terrible end come about?
This question has plagued me for minutes, so in order to
solve the problem I pooled my vast resources, consisting of Google, my Master's Degree in
Idioticy, and the instruction manual for my blender. Using
these invaluable tools I crafted a series of past and future possibilities for
Armageddon, examined sources related to the topic, and created a survival plan
in the event that we were struck by this calamity. Then, due to an unfortunate
accident involving a two liter of Lotsa Root beer and a midget stripper in a
bumblebee costume, the entire essay was lost. So I swung into action and created
another essay using last minute phone research, which usually degraded to me
asking them if they had Prince Albert in a Can.
Nevertheless I persisted, and in the next series of articles that examine all of these facets, and I will cover many different areas including past End of the World prophecies, a scientific view of the issue, as well as how Jesus wants it done.
I would like to take a moment first to thank Mr. Winston, who was so senile, I had to explain to him who Prince Albert was, and what he would be doing in a can in the first place.